here i am again, unable to sleep.

why?

i don’t know, but i figure blogging about it would bore my loyal readers to tears.

i just finished reading douglas coupland’s microserfs. i really liked it. a former co-worker recommended it to me years ago. by today’s standards, it seems a little dated, but its kinda fun to go back in time to live it up early-90’s style.

the last couple of chapters i found to be very heartfelt. the middle was all tech jargon and buddhist-style observations. it was good and really thought provoking, but the last couple of chapters gave the story some heart.

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i’m thinking about getting out of the concert photo business. after the last show, i just don’t seem to have the heart for it and felt the stress of slowly creeping up. it was fun while it lasted, but i guess i just don’t have the skills for it.

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i haven’t been a very positive person lately. i’m doubting myself and every turn and sometime i get to the point that i just don’t want to go to work or even outside anymore. i’m tired. i need a vacation. i need to recharge. i need change.

i’ve grown tired of phoenix. its a great city, but i’ve been here for 13 years this month which marks the longest i’ve ever been in one place. actually, let’s be honest, that record’s was meet and beat years ago.

i have the itch that i need to get out of here. start over in a place where nobody really knows me. the heat does funny things to a person’s mind. everyone here is trapped in a car most of their day and usually doesn’t want anything to do with the people around them. its kinda depressing.

i walk to work everyday and try to say hello to whomever i pass. usually i get a friendly “hello” back, but usually i get looks like i’m trying to sell them something. i just need to get out. make a clean break. there’s nothing for me here.